iPhone + Verizon = Hell on Earth

January 12th, 2010

Mobile Gadgets, Personal Rants

We all know somebody that has and loves their iPhone. I mean, why wouldn’t they? The iPhone completely revolutionized the mobile phone industry. With its multitouch interface, fantastic app store, and sleek design, I’m a little jealous I don’t own one.

I do have one issue with the phone, however, and it’s the certain smugness it causes all of it’s owners to have. Most every iPhone owner I know has this certain feeling of greatness because they own said device. Just compare the attitude of any iPhone owner to their nearly equal iPod Touch user. The two devices are practically one and the same, with one lacking the phone aspect, of course. And though the two devices are so similar, their owner’s attitudes couldn’t be more dissimilar.

The only thing keeping this iPhone-ridden world from collapsing under the smugness is the fact that, officially, all iPhone users in the United States have AT&T. The whole AT&T contract is a real conversation killer and I feel that it’s the key to keeping the iPhone’s cloud of smug at a controllable size.

It is widely rumored that, in 2010, the iPhone will come to Verizon. While I am pleased with this as I have Verizon, I am also scared. With iPhone users taken under Verizon’s wing, the only thing keeping iPhone smug controllable will go right out the window, along with our tolerance for those idiots. Just imagine a world where some jerk not only has the best phone around (like I said, I do want an iPhone), but he always has service. And not just that slower 2G coverage. No, he always has 3G coverage. I mean, have you seen those maps? The red coverage map dominates its blue counterpart. And do you think we’ll be able to tolerate these idiots? That is if you don’t become one of them yourself.

All I’m suggesting is that a world with iPhone users that always have 3G coverage sounds like the exact opposite of a Utopia; more like a sort of hell, if you will. The thought of having a sleek iPhone is glorious, albeit I will not get one; I forbid myself from owning the attitude altering device. I am perfectly content with my iPod Touch and standard Verizon phone. It couldn’t be more obvious: iPhone + Verizon = Hell on Earth.

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About Thomas

Thomas is a self-proclaimed guru (just ask him). He enjoys long walks on the beach, running Mac OS X on his Inspiron 1525, and tweeting about nonsensical life happenings. You can follow Thomas on twitter, email him, or search the interwebs for all his personal information. Neither should be too difficult.

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3 Responses to “iPhone + Verizon = Hell on Earth”

  1. cedyc

    Funny blog. I’ve had my iPhone on Tmobile now for 2 years with no problems. The only thing that sucks is Tmobile don’t offer 3G for the iPhone, one Edge. But it is by far the coolest phone in the world. If it wasn’t droid and everything else wouldn’t try to copy it.

  2. Richard Ward

    Apple first went to Verizon and pitched the “Give me some of your wireless subscriber revenue for this new device called iPhone” and Big Red said “What the hell?” Enter AT&T who said “Sure, why not give a hardware company some of our profits?” Am I hanging on every moment that there becomes a CDMA version of iPhone? Nah. Droid does, baby. Droid does.

    • Thomas

      I could not agree more. Verizon had their chance to get the iPhone and they stupidly declined (I wonder how many people got fired/repremanded for that mistake). Besides, the Droid is a fair contender and can really hold its own.